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Departments: About Alice | Ask Alice! | FREE Newsletter | new! Alice's Articles | |
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Revealed! Why geeks love scooters
By Alice Hill, ZDNN
July 10, 2000 4:24 PM PT
URL: http://www.zdnet.com/zdnn/stories/comment/0,5859,2601173,00.html
The way I look at it, the job of a good technology commentator is to tap into unseen trends that bubble and rumble under the surface.
That may mean predicting the coming appeal of a new operating system; gauging the shelf life of a chancy new 3D graphics chip; or simply understanding why technical people will love certain oddball things like "Star Trek" and Jolt cola, and avoid HDTV and Britney Spears. Today, the "ah-ha!" realization that almost knocked me over, literally, on my way to the office was the growing geek embrace of the scooter.
To those puzzled by grown people merrily kicking their way to work on odd little wheeled vehicles, I say, take a closer look at them. These aren't the long-haired skate punks or hyperfit rollerbladers of another trend pool; these bespectacled, khaki-wearing, backpack-toting scooter users are 100 percent pure geek.
Now that I've had a chance to watch them in their natural habitat, I've assembled the first-ever explanation as to why smart technically minded people are flocking to the scooter. The trend will eventually spread to other groups, but for now, here's why scooters and geeks are a natural combination. You heard it here first!
As efficient vehicles go, you can't beat the scooter. A motor scooter averages 100 anti-SUV miles to the gallon, while the foot propelled variety runs on pure human energy. Motor scooters can dart through traffic and can usually be parked anywhere, while the kick-driven scooters will fold into something you can toss into a backpack. But that's not why these vehicles appeal to the technically inclined.
The secret reason goes beyond gas mileage: Techies are obsessed with leaving for any timed appointment as close to the last minute as technically possible without being late. A scooter lets you shave off an impressively exponential chunk of transit time.
In fact, it is not uncommon to see a telltale digital clock glued on the dash area of a geek's motor scooter. Lest I seem critical, I should point out that I once clocked my own scooter commute to work (San Fran's Noe Valley neighborhood to Levi's Plaza) at an incredible 12 minutes and 14 seconds. Trust me: To geeks, riding a scooter is like hitching a ride onto sheer efficiency itself.
What technical person didn't stop to marvel at the new VW Beetle or grudgingly admit that Apple had something there with the first new iMac?
The reason is simple: Anyone can do an uninspired 0.5 release, but a jaw-dropping 3.0 release stops them in their tracks every time. Same with the scooter.
The original foot-driven scooter was a roller skate nailed to a board that had broomstick on the front for steering. This was a stale design crying out for a major technical overhaul.
The sleek silver units selling out at Sharper Image are futuristic neon-wheeled beauties with gleaming adjustable handlebars and an innovative rear-braking system.
The true manufacturer of the moment though, is Zapworld.com Inc. (short for Zero Air Pollution World), and its popular new "Zappy" motorized standing scooter. Zappy's brother is the "Kick" the kickable version of the Zappy, and both are embraced and revered among the geek population.
When I heard that these new vehicles were named "Zappy," I knew they had a techie winner on their hands. After all, what else do you ride after you've had too much "Jolt"?
Buying a two-wheeled vehicle of any kind carries the risk, and often, the secret thrill, of danger. But always keep in mind that the geek relationship to danger is mathematical, rather than crassly thrill-seeking.
Case in point: Observe the difference between the geek scooter rider and the skateboard punk. Skateboard crazoids jump curbs, coast down walls and basically demonstrate their alpha-skater superiority to all who pass by. Not so the quiet techie, who is lost in an inner world of Y-axis inclines and velocity calculations. Secret reason: It's easier to balance with the handlebars.
While scootermania is just beginning to catch on nationwide, I'll bet that a good number of you reading this column either have your own tales to tell or are secretly drawn to the new scooters. Three cheers to Zapworld for taking the crudest of the scooter family and evolving it into something even more beautiful than a Palm Pilot V.
Scooter-obsessed? Drop me a line and tell me all about it.